Monday, 19 March 2012

I give up, get me a beer!

(Thanks to David Martin for the following guest post)

Try to start the mower.

Take out the spark plug and light a match to burn off the excess fuel, just as Grandpa showed me all those years before.

Shit, it’s on fire!
Flap it out. Shit!
Smother it. Shit! Grandpa, bad idea!

Water. Water. Water. This $10 hose has got kinks in it. Shit!
O.K just put ten litres of fuel in that tank that is now burning. Shit!
Damn, shit, F***, shit…..OK smothered it now…….

Heart is beating very fast. Don’t know if that is good! Breathe… Sit down….

Take stock of the situation. All the plastic stuff on the engine is dead. But I have to get that lawn mown! Lucky that I have another dead mower with good plastics. Start again.

Two hours later, have rebuilt my mistake. But still not starting! This is such a mongrel time-waster when all I want to do is get rid of this place.

Borrowed the neighbour’s mower now. Absolute dream. I get the lawns done in record time.
Back to the shed to look at the burned out mower. Tear comes to my eye and dries up just as quickly. It’s f****d.

Get me a bloody beer!

photo courtesy of