Sunday, 30 September 2012

Men's fashion crimes - novelty underwear (Guest Post) by Stuart Green

This article takes a humour filled look at novelty men’s underwear, outlining why it is such a fashion crime.

Who Buys It?

It is amazing in our minds that people buy men’s novelty underwear at all, however perhaps what is more shocking is the people that buy it. Usually, novelty products are the sort of thing that you can rely on a relative who doesn’t ever see you to buy for your birthday or for Christmas. Humour is always an excellent ice-breaker like that, isn’t it. I know what I’ll do, I haven’t seen him since the same day last year, and I have no idea what he likes or would appreciate for a gift, so I’ll buy him some underwear with an elephants face so he can put his thingy in the trunk. Anyone would find that funny, obviously.
The frightening thing is, not only is that a fairly accurate reflection of attitudes towards buying men’s novelty underwear as a gift, but that men also buy this stuff for themselves! Okay, they probably don’t go to quite the ridiculous lengths that have been described above, but it is still common for allegedly grown, mature men to placate themselves with underwear that says things along the lines of “unleash the best” or “Ladies: Welcome to Heaven.”
Seriously, does anyone really take themselves even a little seriously when wearing these things. There might be a bit of irony and humour in t-shirts that say things like “You Like This” in the style of Facebook, but surely not in pants. Imagine spending the night with a new girlfriend for the first time, and while you are getting intimate she sees the message above?!

Blame the Shops

We believe the blame should be laid squarely at the foot of the selected stores that sell this stuff and think it is acceptable to do so. Of course, if there is demand for a product in a business, then they are going to continue stocking it.
At the same time, there is surely an argument that says that no-one actually hits the stores with express objective to buy novelty underwear. They might be looking to buy underwear, but are probably happy with a general pack of 3 briefs before setting their eyes on what else is on offer. Men generally don’t walk into the store and ask if they can be directed to the “I Am Legend” underwear, do they?

The Solution?

The only way forward, if there is one, is to not wear it yourself, mock your friends for doing so, and never, ever buy it, even as a humorous gift. And tell the long lost relative that it isn’t funny, too.
Stylepilot lets men discover which styles and items to purchase including mens underwear.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Who will buy ... me?

A funny writing prompt - how would you advertise yourself, got me thinking about what on earth I could offer the buyer.
Why would I buy me?
I think I'm pretty quiet most of the time, I do lots of work around the house but I'm not a perfectionist. Organised but not OCD.
Not too bad at decorating houses on minimal budgets and handy at hunting out stuff at op-shops and nifty little markets.
I can sew little elephants, if in the mood, and can write a decent essay on a range of topics.
I'm able to type really quickly, with pretty good accuracy, and can find my way around Microsoft Word and the Internet.
I have a strong connection with animals, most cats, in particular, tend to trust me and move through their normally snobby attitudes for a pat.
My piano playing has occasional flares of greatness, when I get the urge and a shot of passion.
I'm a nice person most of the time, and I have dedicated my life to working with people who many others wouldn't go near.
I'm pretty healthy and have a strong knowledge of nutrition and I'm motivated to keep fit and try new things, like the gym and bike riding.
Sex - I love it and I don't think I'm TOO bad at it, and not TOO old to enjoy it... is there such an age?
I can drive a car safely and well, and haven't had a ticket since I first got my license.
Spelling - not too drab either, I come in handy as a mobile dictionary in the office.
Face book - pretty good at it! I guess that's all I can really think of. I wonder what others would write?