Sunday, 17 June 2012

Stolen - a prayer

Dear God,
Please forgive me for stealing.
Over my life I have stolen a number of things, some big, some little.
I will list them below:

·         My book –club money (I spent it on lollies from the corner shop instead)
·         Some toilet paper from an old lady’s house, when I ran away (I didn’t know she would miss it that much until she started bashing my legs with a broom as I tried to get away under her fence)
·         A handful of shells from that tourist shop at Apollo Bay (my friends were so embarrassed they didn’t speak to me for the rest of the camp)
·         That stretchy belt I nicked in the 80s…. it was too easy to walk out of the shop wearing it, the perfect match for that cute ra-ra skirt I had in my wardrobe.
·         The black-mailing photos … was it our fault our photography teacher had some photos of the spunky male P.E. teacher having a shower tucked away in her filing cabinet? We felt morally obliged to remove them.
·         Collywobbles … you came to my door, ate the food we gave you and I thought it right that you were to be de-sexed. It only crossed my mind later that I had probably stolen someone else’s cat.
·         Okay, the wine was in the cupboard, right? Pretty accessible for a teenager, and how was I to know it was a bottle of Santenay 1972 Jean Jacques Castel Magnum that would now be worth over four hundred dollars? I didn't really taste it after we smashed the top off the bottle.
So God, I have been pretty naughty on the theft front over the years. I might have omitted a couple of things, but nothing that I can recall right at this moment.  Could’ve been a lot worse, I think, so do you think you could forgive me? I think it’s time I forgave myself, that’s for sure, and you know I sure don’t plan to do it again.
Thanks God, you’re a ripper!

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