Saturday, 19 May 2012

The woes of licking between your toes!

The herbal concoction is bitter, making my tongue curl and I wash it down quickly with freshly squeezed juice ... phew!

After battling with my tummy for about a year (cramps, bloating, indigestion) I think I might be finally on the right track. I have come to the following conclusions about why my digestive system has gone crazy:

  1. The six months I spent on Jenny Craig (frozen food, processed foods and becoming disassociated with food preparation)
  2. Going from a vegetarian diet to eating a lot of meat
  3. Eating every 5.2 minutes
  4. Drinking 362 coffees daily
  5. Inhaling helium and other strange substances
  6. Eating my dogs' meals
  7. Chewing non-edible surfaces e.g. my table, chairs, pillows
  8. Drinking from the toilet bowl
  9. Pulling my hair out in tufts and eating it
  10. Licking between my toes
  11. Having sips of petrol when getting fuel from the servo
  12. Eating from the rubbish bin
  13. Accidentally swallowing a lot of makeup when attempting to wear it on my face
  14. Licking my floor clean instead of mopping to save water
Okay... this started well but sadly, was hacked! So I will summarise it as having changed my diet too radically too quickly, not eating enough nutrients, eating too much sugar (especially chocolate) and not dealing with stress very well.

And the plan? Cutting out caffeine, dropping the sugar levels, eating heaps of fruit and veges and fresh juices, snacking on nuts and sultanas instead of lollies and using some stress-reduction techniques. Boring? Not if it means a happy tummy! My lovely naturopath also prescribed me digestive enzymes and pro-biotics. So maybe I can keep licking between my toes after all!

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